[We're going to start out this PC thread with Rin searching through the contents of a kitchen drawer, only to come out of it seething.]
Why the hell can't I find a single knife in this place?!
[Yep. But at least his irritation is loud so Xie Lian can easily find him? There will be free food eventually too, once Rin works out how to cut stuff with a fork.]
[ oh, poor rin. xie lian is around the corner this fine day, san lang around his neck like a scarf, and he peers into the room when he hears the commotion. ]
sitting cross legged in his white robes once more, xie lian has a small stack of papers next to him, and a small fire burning in front of him. he keeps taking the papers - they are blank - and burning them, slowly, until they crumble to ash.
[ xie lian is in the solar! he's settled in a chair, legs crossed, eyes closed, san lang in qilin form at his feet. hearing footsteps, he cracks open an eye - it seems like he was meditating. ]
Rin. [ he greets, calm and composed. ] What are you up to?
he laughs, when addressed with this, reaching up to scratch his cheek. ]
Ah... the Rain Master, in my realm, perhaps? Though, I think you could likely just ask the Watchers. I may have an extra bottle, if you'd like to write a letter.
[ he has been keeping one in his sleeves, lately, just in case, so. xie lian reaches through the fine silk and pulls out a glass bottle!
however, in doing so, he brushes against a shard of memory glass that he'd grabbed earlier in the day.
you are standing in the royal holy pavilion, and you can smell smoke in the air. it's the first breath of relief after a crowd of resentful spirits swarmed the holy temple, and you, crown prince, were able to near instantly find the vital spot to disperse them. there's a magnificent sword in your hand; you are dressed in fine, pure white clothing, and thrumming with powerful spiritual energy.
your two bodyguards kneel on the floor, both sooty but otherwise fine, and in front of them, a young child holds his head. he is filthy, wearing red and covered in bandages, and he is surrounded by three deputy guoshi. your tutor, famed mei nianqing, grand master guoshi, renowned for his skills and talents in fortune tellers sits in front of you, and he looks horrified.
"your highness" he says, suddenly, springing to his feet, "you really shouldn't have brought that thing up this mountain. that small child is toxic! his sign is borne of the most ominous star, the star of solitude, destined to bring misfortune and destruction, the kind that evil loves most. whoever touches him will have misfortune befall them, whoever gets close will lose their lives--"
before he can finish, though, a scream rips out of the throat of the tiny, red wearing child. he is young, barely ten years old, but the noise is agonized, filled to the brim with unmistakable, unspeakable pain and sorrow, and he runs full speed at the guoshi to headbutt him, then starts flailing - he hits and tears and cries at the guoshi, wailing like a miserable animal.
around you, the deputy guoshi gasp, horrified, and your bodyguards leap to their feet. they tear the child away from the guoshi, who scrambles backwards, yelling "MAKE HIM GO DOWN THE MOUNTAIN, HURRY! Don't touch him, I mean it! That fortune is too toxic! Don't touch him!"
the deputy guoshi jump as if they were burned. your bodyguards are frozen to the spot, and everyone avoids the child like he is poisonous - it just makes it worse. the child screams, and thrashes, and bites at anything he can, like a wild animal. "I'M NOT!! I'M NOT, I'M NOT!"
and you, crown prince, holy child, beloved son, come back to your senses.
and you walk forward. you keep walking, forward, forward, past the deputy guoshi, and drop to your knees behind the child
and you take him in your arms from behind. ] You're not. I know you're not. Don't cry, now. I know you're not.
[ the child stops, frozen in your arms, like a wild, captured animal. his tiny hands catch the white fabric of your sleeves, spreading grime from the spot, and hold on for dear life. he takes a deep breath --you feel him trembling in your arms, tiny, emaciated, terrified thing, and you close your eyes.
and you feel something in that child's body just give. he takes a deep, heaving breath, and bursts into tears.
your heart breaks.
you pull the child closer to yourself, and speak, again, firmly. you will not be questioned. ] It's not you. It's not your fault.
[ the child whips around, suddenly, buries his face in your chest, and begins to wail.
the guoshi warns you, one last time - i mean it, it's best to let go, and you shake your head, and hold the tiny hong-er in your arms, so that if he falls apart, you can keep his pieces together. you let him scream and cry, like a wounded animal sobbing its last breaths, the desperate cries of a grown man breaking down instead of the misery of a ten year old. you ignore your advisers, let him soak the front of your snow white robes with his tears and blood and dirt. you don't care.
bad luck be damned; hong er is not an ominous star. he is a child, who deserves to be loved. who deserves kindness. who has suffered, so very much, so much so that his sobs rattle his bones, rattle the entire pavilion.
you will not be the reason he continues to suffer.
if this child's misery is - is heaven fated, then you, crown prince, beloved son, soon-to-be-god -- you will change his fate with your bare hands.
[Once Xie Lian has been seen to medically and isn't at risk of dying, Rin is going to come looking for him! He wants to check on XL, but he's pretty sure gods can't die so it should be fine. Right?
btw Rin has a couple bruises on his face and also a black eye. More importantly, he has brought two bowls of plain rice.]
[ rin please!! xie lian has had some medical treatment, and he's just resting, now, behaving himself like a good boy. at the sound of company, though, he looks up, and offers rin a tired smile.
san lang is in the form of a rabbit, pressed tight to xie lian's side. ]
Oh, hello, Rin. [ ... ] Are you alright? [ starting to sit up! ]
[After the trial, he's going to go looking for Xie Lian. And when he finds him, he'll just go over to exist in the same space as him for a bit. Sitting, standing, it doesn't matter. Rin is just going to be there near Xie Lian for a few moments without saying anything.
[ this tag made my heart so warm i had to put my computer down and walk away from it
oh... it's clear xie lian was not expecting the gratitude - he'd simply accepted rin's company where he's settled, outside by a canal with his feet hanging over the edge with a smile. he blinks at him for a moment, and then, that expression settles into fondness, eyes crinkling a little, before xie lian looks away. ]
You don't have to thank me for doing what you asked of me, Rin - but, of course, I am glad to help.
[ ....and then, with a huff, sounding arguably the most annoyed he's sounded since qi rong was here: ] I can't stand those sorts of people. It's unforgivable, to be cruel for cruelty's sake - and immature, too! What a bully.
by which i mean xie lian comes to fuss over rin basically immediately wherever he is, once things have calmed down, because this is his dear friend and he is very worried. he also still has a minor heal left, so - ]
Rin, how are you feeling? [ san lang follows after him, worriedly chittering his little ferret head off. ] Is there anything I can do for you...?
[Rin is sitting somewhere in the city and he has Kurikara in his lap. The sword is partially drawn, but isn't all the way out. It's far enough out for it to be obvious what Rin is looking at though: there are several cracks in the blade, none completely through it (so it's still a full blade) but enough that it's obvious he tried to block a hit that was far too strong for the blade to handle.
He offers Xie Lian a weak smile.]
Hey. You wouldn't know how to fix something like this, would you?
[This is what he asks, even while some of the fingers on his right hand are still obviously broken.
He's not expecting an answer in the affirmative either, this is just something that's on his mind now.]
[ i'm just gonna assume he's been here for a little while, but! xie lian is leaning against the baby jail, wherever it is, sitting towards the sun, head tilted back.
san lang, ferret formed, is pressed up against the bars, too, as close as possible. ]
[It is going to take Rin an embarrassingly long time to realize where Xie Lian is. Hell, it's probably going to be close to sunset by the time Rin curses up a storm trying to climb on the roof. His eyes are still red and puffy and his face is a mess, but he's not crying anymore. Emotionally drained, but a little closer to who Rin normally is.]
[ xie lian has been… around, today! he keeps returning to this spot - as the evening carries on, he seems to be keeping a little bit of a vigil.
he’s not actually expecting rin to notice him, so it’s a little surprising - but, a the sound of his voice, he looks down, and offers him a small smile, sheepish. busted. ]
Ah… the view of the sunset from this place is magnificent. That’s all. [ is it? ] Here.
[ and he’ll come over and offer a hand to help pull him up. ]
[He's actually already a cat-like demon so there aren't that many physical changes. But the behavioral changes are. Significant.
Wherever Xie Lian is, Rin is going to squeeze his way in so he can sit in Xie Lian's lap. He does this without saying a word, and he's just going to make himself comfortable unless Xie Lian kicks him out.]
[Shivering, cold, and probably coming down with a bug, Rin pushes on nonetheless. The rain is coming down pretty steadily but he darts from overhand to overhang, looking for any sign of the missing people. So many of them are friends of his, and even if he knows some of them are probably dead he still wants to find the others.
Instead, it's Xie Lian he finds, when they happen to cross paths at the narrow front porch of one of the shops. It's not evening yet so the area isn't crowded, but there is still quite a bustle around them. Rin sneezes, and then he pulls his hoodie around him more tightly.]
[ at least he's found xie lian today! he seems to be watching the area of stalls, today, waiting - his satchel is hanging over his shoulder, and he has no warmer clothes than usual, though his hair is pulled up in a bun instead of hanging down his back. he, too, is soaking wet.
glancing to his companion, though, he offers rin a small smile. san lang doesn't seem to be nearby? though, if rin is observant, he may notice a shadow on the overhang above them, just a few feet ahead. playing lookout. ]
No... nothing yet. [ he bows his head, a little. ] Come, dry yourself for a little while.
[Hey Xie Lian, how are you? Because Rin is feeling absolutely shitty and would love some company!
He's going to walk over to where Xie Lian is and sit down next to him in a meditative position. Then he claps his hands together, and:]
Oh, mysterious god of the central plains! The darkness in my heart keeps laughing at me and calling me a loser for thinking I could save anyone. What should I do to keep my mind busy and ignore his stupid laughter?
[After all of That, Rin is left feeling emotionally drained and in dire need of something to keep his mind occupied. Which is why he's at the sculpture garden, looking at the giant hole in the ground. 'Fix your fuckups' is what his father always told him, and this is a fuckup that is definitely his fault.
First Rin scoops up a handful of snow and squishes it into a ball before tossing it in. The snowball breaks upon impact with the frozen layer of ice at the bottom. Then Rin picks up a bunch of snow in both of his hands and flings it towards the hole, with most of the snow lazily drifting down. This is when he sighs pensively.]
Well. I guess this'll keep me busy until tomorrow at least.
[But then he looks up to find Xie lian, and he stops there. Hi buddy.]
[ god, what a mood. xie lian is pacing through the ice garden today - he walks through with a steadiness to his steps, san lang in his arms in rabbit form, but his expression is a little hard to read. san lang's ears perk, though, when he hears the snow, and then rin, and xie lian turns. ]
...oh. Hello, Rin. Do you need help...?
[ he has a smile for rin, but it's tired, and doesn't quite reach his eyes. what a day. ]
[Despite everything, they still carry on. And Rin still goes looking for Xie Lian after the trial. Wherever Xie Lian is, Rin is going to end up near him. And while he does start up with the silly prayer-speak, it's in a much more subdued voice than it usually is.]
Mysterious god of the central plains, this half-demon has but one humble request this week: that the god he prays to shares his burdens with him, rather than trying to shoulder them alone.
[Then he waits to see if Xie Lian is receptive to that or not.]
[ xie lian is... in the sauna! he's sitting towards the very edge, and the coals aren't really burning - it is just warm enough to be comfortable, but he's staring out at the snowy landscape beyond.
as rin comes to talk to him, he listens... and after a moment, huffs, softly, and gives him a small, tired smile. ]
That's quite forward of you to request, in that context, you know.
[ xie lian is here in the park, laying down with his upper half propped up on a familiar looking tiger, staring up at the sky with his hands folded on his chest.
the tiger lifts its head, looks at rin, and pays attention to him immediately, watching. there's a ball of white fur between his paws - san lang pokes his head up to look, too. ]
[Rin is trying not to think too much about what he saw at the execution. His heart is already weak from seven weeks of death and fighting and so much hard work. Which is why he's in the park, drawing on a sidewalk with some of the chalk he got a few days ago. He's got a really shitty drawing of stick-figure Rin and Yukio standing with a white-haired man in glasses between the two of them. All three are smiling, and Rin is just adding some finishing details to the drawing.
He pauses looks up to Xie Lian though.]
Oh, hey. Wanna draw?
[He is absolutely not telling Xie Lian that drawing with chalk is an activity that 5-year-olds participate in.]
[This is happening in the void of deadland because Rin doesn't care where he finds Xie Lian, he just wants to find him. He better be sitting or laying down, because fuck you for almost dying Dianxia!]
[ he is resting!! sort of. he's sitting up against something at the moment, sorting through the objects in his sleeve inventory, but he is not up and about so that is a win?
xie lian smiles when he spots rin, gentle and warm. ]
[Where is Xie Lian? Somewhere in this tiny space, it's fine. And since there's no daemon around for cuddling and comfort, Rin will just go up to Xie Lian and make his over-exaggerated prayer stance.]
Oh Taizi Dianxia, mysterious god of the central plains, with a crown of flowers in one hand and a sword in the other, who tamed a demon's heart and taught a human how to be free again, who extends his hand in kindness and acceptance time and time again!
the overexaggerated prayer pose is always so very silly, and makes xie lian smile. he's still smiling as rin gets his way through his prayer, amused in the laugh-or-cry sort of way... and then rin keeps going, and it melts into something utterly touched. ]
...Rin...
[ sometimes
it just takes one person to feel like you did enough. ]
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Week 0, Tuesday
Why the hell can't I find a single knife in this place?!
[Yep. But at least his irritation is loud so Xie Lian can easily find him? There will be free food eventually too, once Rin works out how to cut stuff with a fork.]
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Is everything alright, Rin...?
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Week 0, Saturday
Rin is going looking for Xie Lian. Where is he right now?]
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sitting cross legged in his white robes once more, xie lian has a small stack of papers next to him, and a small fire burning in front of him. he keeps taking the papers - they are blank - and burning them, slowly, until they crumble to ash.
hearing footsteps, he looks up. ]
Oh... hello, Rin.
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Week 1, post-trial
okay no, not really. He's going looking for Xie Lian for another reason. Where's the best trash god?]
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Rin. [ he greets, calm and composed. ] What are you up to?
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Week 2, Monday
Xie Liaaaaaaan! What kinda prayer do I have to say to get real ingredients to cook with?
1/2!
he laughs, when addressed with this, reaching up to scratch his cheek. ]
Ah... the Rain Master, in my realm, perhaps? Though, I think you could likely just ask the Watchers. I may have an extra bottle, if you'd like to write a letter.
[ he has been keeping one in his sleeves, lately, just in case, so. xie lian reaches through the fine silk and pulls out a glass bottle!
however, in doing so, he brushes against a shard of memory glass that he'd grabbed earlier in the day.
and it's enough to start a memory. ]
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1/2
cw: gore (just a little bit in one panel)
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plz ignore the white hair icons, his black hair ones just didn't have the right expressions
Week 2, Friday
btw Rin has a couple bruises on his face and also a black eye. More importantly, he has brought two bowls of plain rice.]
Hey, how are you feeling?
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san lang is in the form of a rabbit, pressed tight to xie lian's side. ]
Oh, hello, Rin. [ ... ] Are you alright? [ starting to sit up! ]
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Week 2, post-trial
Then, quietly, he says just one word.]
Thanks.
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oh... it's clear xie lian was not expecting the gratitude - he'd simply accepted rin's company where he's settled, outside by a canal with his feet hanging over the edge with a smile. he blinks at him for a moment, and then, that expression settles into fondness, eyes crinkling a little, before xie lian looks away. ]
You don't have to thank me for doing what you asked of me, Rin - but, of course, I am glad to help.
[ ....and then, with a huff, sounding arguably the most annoyed he's sounded since qi rong was here: ] I can't stand those sorts of people. It's unforgivable, to be cruel for cruelty's sake - and immature, too! What a bully.
[ he has feelings about this, apparently ]
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week 3 post cyoa
by which i mean xie lian comes to fuss over rin basically immediately wherever he is, once things have calmed down, because this is his dear friend and he is very worried. he also still has a minor heal left, so - ]
Rin, how are you feeling? [ san lang follows after him, worriedly chittering his little ferret head off. ] Is there anything I can do for you...?
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He offers Xie Lian a weak smile.]
Hey. You wouldn't know how to fix something like this, would you?
[This is what he asks, even while some of the fingers on his right hand are still obviously broken.
He's not expecting an answer in the affirmative either, this is just something that's on his mind now.]
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w3, very early sunday morning
san lang, ferret formed, is pressed up against the bars, too, as close as possible. ]
... Are you awake, Rin? [ softly. ]
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'm up.
[He's been sleeping like shit the last few days so he was only lightly dozing anyway.]
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Week 3, Sunday
Why are you up here?
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he’s not actually expecting rin to notice him, so it’s a little surprising - but, a the sound of his voice, he looks down, and offers him a small smile, sheepish. busted. ]
Ah… the view of the sunset from this place is magnificent. That’s all. [ is it? ] Here.
[ and he’ll come over and offer a hand to help pull him up. ]
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Week 4, Monday
Wherever Xie Lian is, Rin is going to squeeze his way in so he can sit in Xie Lian's lap. He does this without saying a word, and he's just going to make himself comfortable unless Xie Lian kicks him out.]
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hello? xie lian is sitting. he was probably meditating. ]
..... Hello, Rin....?
[ i mean yeah he just lets this happen because of course he does, hands sort of hovering awkwardly to the side. ]
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Week 4, Friday
Instead, it's Xie Lian he finds, when they happen to cross paths at the narrow front porch of one of the shops. It's not evening yet so the area isn't crowded, but there is still quite a bustle around them. Rin sneezes, and then he pulls his hoodie around him more tightly.]
It's cold...any luck?
[Since he can guess why Xie Lian is outside too.]
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glancing to his companion, though, he offers rin a small smile. san lang doesn't seem to be nearby? though, if rin is observant, he may notice a shadow on the overhang above them, just a few feet ahead. playing lookout. ]
No... nothing yet. [ he bows his head, a little. ] Come, dry yourself for a little while.
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Week 4, post-trial
He's going to walk over to where Xie Lian is and sit down next to him in a meditative position. Then he claps his hands together, and:]
Oh, mysterious god of the central plains! The darkness in my heart keeps laughing at me and calling me a loser for thinking I could save anyone. What should I do to keep my mind busy and ignore his stupid laughter?
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xie lian looks at them as rin starts his 'prayer', and then back to rin for a long moment. ]
... If it helps - there is darkness in my heart that laughs the same. Little demonic energy is required.
[ instead, that laugh sounds like the white no face. ]
But... I have found physical activity tends to clear the mind. [ and... his gaze shifts to their left, where there is just
a fucking line of destroyed sparring dummies.
oops. ]
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Week 5, Friday
First Rin scoops up a handful of snow and squishes it into a ball before tossing it in. The snowball breaks upon impact with the frozen layer of ice at the bottom. Then Rin picks up a bunch of snow in both of his hands and flings it towards the hole, with most of the snow lazily drifting down. This is when he sighs pensively.]
Well. I guess this'll keep me busy until tomorrow at least.
[But then he looks up to find Xie lian, and he stops there. Hi buddy.]
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...oh. Hello, Rin. Do you need help...?
[ he has a smile for rin, but it's tired, and doesn't quite reach his eyes. what a day. ]
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love not getting notifs
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Week 5, post-trial
Mysterious god of the central plains, this half-demon has but one humble request this week: that the god he prays to shares his burdens with him, rather than trying to shoulder them alone.
[Then he waits to see if Xie Lian is receptive to that or not.]
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as rin comes to talk to him, he listens... and after a moment, huffs, softly, and gives him a small, tired smile. ]
That's quite forward of you to request, in that context, you know.
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Week 6, Saturday (pre-trial)
Hey, so, the person who wrote to me told me to show this to you.
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here he is!!! san lang is currently on his shoulder, ferret formed. he leans over to look and so does san lang. ]
Oh...?
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w6, post trial
the tiger lifts its head, looks at rin, and pays attention to him immediately, watching. there's a ball of white fur between his paws - san lang pokes his head up to look, too. ]
... Hello, Rin.
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Hey. I didn't know you and Straw-Barry were that close.
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cw: brief mention of suicide
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Week 6, Sunday
He pauses looks up to Xie Lian though.]
Oh, hey. Wanna draw?
[He is absolutely not telling Xie Lian that drawing with chalk is an activity that 5-year-olds participate in.]
Week 7, Monday (after town hall)
Oiiii! Xie Lian! Where'd you go?
[Yeah he's just. Calling out for him. They're all outside it's fine, Xie Lian will hear him.]
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anyway xie lian is around i guess in the void. he's holding san lang in his arms, rabbit formed, and glances back at the sound of his name.
rin gets a small, tired smile. ] Hello, Rin.
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Week 7, Friday
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xie lian smiles when he spots rin, gentle and warm. ]
Hello, Rin.
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Week 7, Saturday
Oh Taizi Dianxia, mysterious god of the central plains, with a crown of flowers in one hand and a sword in the other, who tamed a demon's heart and taught a human how to be free again, who extends his hand in kindness and acceptance time and time again!
[A pause. And then, much quieter:]
Thank you. For always answering my prayers.
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the overexaggerated prayer pose is always so very silly, and makes xie lian smile. he's still smiling as rin gets his way through his prayer, amused in the laugh-or-cry sort of way... and then rin keeps going, and it melts into something utterly touched. ]
...Rin...
[ sometimes
it just takes one person to feel like you did enough. ]
...thank you, then. For believing in me.
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