... I was, but... the end goal was to draw the demon out, and then keep provoking it until either you regained control or it became obvious you wouldn't be able to do so without outside help.
If you hadn't been able to do it on your own, that fight would have ended very differently.
Well, you saw it. And I've only gotten better at controlling him since then. He hasn't unexpectedly come out in weeks, the one time he got out it was because Suriel asked me to let him out.
Something about how she wanted to show she wasn't afraid of him? Like, that's what she told me. And well, she's a Watcher, so she could stop him if he did anything bad. So I did it.
...I thought if she saw how he is then she'd wise up and be afraid of both of us, but if anything it just made her more determined to help me.
For a while, yeah? I mean, I haven't exactly been doing that great for a while now. I'm kinda being held together by the fact that I need to be the strong one for other people right now.
[His self-loathing is less-strong than it was before, but it's still there.]
...but people keep telling me they care about me, so I'm doing better than I was. If I really was a monster they wouldn't care so much, I don't think.
... [Rin isn't supposed to be the one saying "I'm kinda being held together by the fact that I need to be the strong one for other people right now". That's Yukio's role.]
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timeasmymeasure
cw: mentioned suicide
Date: 2021-11-21 05:09 pm (UTC)[Wow, he didn't know.]
I thought you were like, venting your frustrations first. Before you killed me. Or...yourself, I guess.
no subject
Date: 2021-11-21 05:24 pm (UTC)If you hadn't been able to do it on your own, that fight would have ended very differently.
no subject
Date: 2021-11-21 05:42 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2021-11-21 05:55 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2021-11-21 05:58 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2021-11-21 06:06 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2021-11-21 06:14 pm (UTC)...I thought if she saw how he is then she'd wise up and be afraid of both of us, but if anything it just made her more determined to help me.
no subject
Date: 2021-11-21 07:04 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2021-11-21 07:12 pm (UTC)[His self-loathing is less-strong than it was before, but it's still there.]
...but people keep telling me they care about me, so I'm doing better than I was. If I really was a monster they wouldn't care so much, I don't think.
no subject
Date: 2021-11-25 03:36 pm (UTC)You're not a monster, nii-san.