... [Did they...? He was never in love with Zieks by any stretch of the imagination, but it's...
Complicated.]
I don't really know how I'm supposed to feel, honestly.
...We weren't together, for the record. If that's what you're asking. He just came to me because I don't matter as much as someone living, or someone he likes.
...I appreciate the vote of confidence but, he didn't say it like that. That's probably a harsh interpretation.
[He shakes his head. Zieks told him the opposite, when he was in the throes of despair, actually. But...]
He wanted the distraction and so did I, and he couldn't afford to be caught wanting anything by anyone who didn't already know how starved he was.
Don't think it was anything deeper than that. Still, though. He was interesting, at least. Feels a bit of an anti-climax.
[He's not sure if he just wanted a proper acknowledgement from Zieks when he wasn't at his lowest, or if he wanted to be something that Zieks wasn't ashamed to want, or if he wanted to wrap his claws around the lawyer's throat and strangle him to death. But he'll never get any of those things now.]
[Rin is a teenager who still believes in the power of true love and is three steps away from a crisis because he doesn't know what to do about liking two people at the same time. He has no understanding of 'sometimes you're in a bad place and meet someone else in a bad place and make questionable decisions'. Someone grew up on romance manga and has a rather idealized version of all of this.
But he's trying to understand, which is why Spike won't get a lecture on feelings and love.]
'Interesting' is enough to be upset at his death. Or disappointed, I guess. There's no murderer to track down, no promise of "I'll find out what happened to you." Of course you'd be disappointed.
[It's alright, Rin, Spike is also a giant sap and romantic at heart. He's just also internalized the idea that pain, hate and abuse are all linked with love and sex as well. Whatever connection was between Spike and Zieks, it wasn't love or affection or even friendship but it was something.
It was enough that Spike lay awake at night fantacizing about killing him.]
There is one, though, isn't there?
We just need to beat the game and kill the piece of shit at the top.
There's at least one for the 'boss' of the Celestials and one for the 'boss' of the Temporals. And then there's the one we saw in that shitty place we went to last week.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2021-10-30 02:06 am (UTC)Complicated.]
I don't really know how I'm supposed to feel, honestly.
...We weren't together, for the record. If that's what you're asking. He just came to me because I don't matter as much as someone living, or someone he likes.
no subject
Date: 2021-10-30 02:15 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2021-10-30 02:35 am (UTC)[He shakes his head. Zieks told him the opposite, when he was in the throes of despair, actually. But...]
He wanted the distraction and so did I, and he couldn't afford to be caught wanting anything by anyone who didn't already know how starved he was.
Don't think it was anything deeper than that. Still, though. He was interesting, at least. Feels a bit of an anti-climax.
[He's not sure if he just wanted a proper acknowledgement from Zieks when he wasn't at his lowest, or if he wanted to be something that Zieks wasn't ashamed to want, or if he wanted to wrap his claws around the lawyer's throat and strangle him to death. But he'll never get any of those things now.]
no subject
Date: 2021-10-30 02:55 am (UTC)But he's trying to understand, which is why Spike won't get a lecture on feelings and love.]
'Interesting' is enough to be upset at his death. Or disappointed, I guess. There's no murderer to track down, no promise of "I'll find out what happened to you." Of course you'd be disappointed.
no subject
Date: 2021-10-30 03:12 am (UTC)It was enough that Spike lay awake at night fantacizing about killing him.]
There is one, though, isn't there?
We just need to beat the game and kill the piece of shit at the top.
no subject
Date: 2021-10-30 03:16 am (UTC)Actually I think there's at least two pieces of shit at the top, and maybe even more than that. Lots of ass-kicking to do.
no subject
Date: 2021-10-30 03:19 am (UTC)Great. Sounds like an all-you-can-eat kinda place. My favourite. What makes you say two? I've only heard of this Dust Angel.
no subject
Date: 2021-10-30 03:26 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2021-10-30 11:01 am (UTC)[He also always wanted to kill Angel.]