[After all of that he is absolutely tracking down Spike. He felt those vibes, vampire bud. And since Rin is part demon, he probably stands the best chance at not being seen as food.]
I'm not capable of feeling remorse. I'm a soulless demon.
The watchers - the watchers back home, that is, they got this theory that when a vampire dies his brain and body gets taken over by a demonic parasite that just thinks that it's the person it's possessing. Some vampires, ones who don't want to be anything resembling human, they go along with the story. But it's horse-shit.
[He picks up his Daemon, currently a vampire back, who just squeaks.]
This is all that's left of my humanity. This fragile little prick. My one shot at escape, and my one way ticket to centuries of guilt and self hatred.
[Rin looks to the vampire bat, then back to Spike.]
That...actually would fit with how vampires in my world are, yeah. So it might be true.
But you know, just because you don't feel remorse doesn't mean you're a soulless demon. I'm sure you do still have a soul, you wouldn't have a daemon without one. And I don't feel remorse for any of the animals I cook and eat, so it doesn't seem right to call you a monster for just eating.
It's not true. Not in my world, at least. It's a coping mechanism disguised as academic knowledge. They need the slayers to dehumanize vampires, so they pretend there's nothing left of the human within.
[He smiles in faint amusement.]
And my soul's in... I don't know where. Some kind of afterlife. It just got yanked back down here to be chained to me. [He pets Erastis, who looks up at him and squeaks. Rin would get the impression he's fantacizing about snapping it's neck. But knows he wouldn't actually do it. He's not that stupid.]
Where I'm from, a human's soul doesn't go anywhere when they're possessed. They're just...napping, I guess? Inside their body, while the demon controls them. And then when the demon gets kicked out of the person's body, they wake up without really remembering what happened.
[Rin's world might be a bit kinder because of that. Shounen demon logic.]
[There is a slight flare of irritation, but it passes quickly. Rin's trying to understand Spike, not challenge him. Giving in to his short temper wouldn't help here.]
There's still 'something' of you here. Even if your soul is...wherever it went, the rest of you is right here. Your mind, your memories, your heart. Those still make you 'something'.
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timeasmymeasure
Wekk 2, post-trial
Date: 2021-10-17 01:31 am (UTC)Hey, what's going on?
no subject
Date: 2021-10-17 01:47 am (UTC)I'm a monster without a leash, kid.
That's what's going on.
no subject
Date: 2021-10-17 01:50 am (UTC)Is it hard to live with? I can feel the things you're feeling, it seems like a lot.
no subject
Date: 2021-10-17 01:55 am (UTC)The watchers - the watchers back home, that is, they got this theory that when a vampire dies his brain and body gets taken over by a demonic parasite that just thinks that it's the person it's possessing. Some vampires, ones who don't want to be anything resembling human, they go along with the story. But it's horse-shit.
[He picks up his Daemon, currently a vampire back, who just squeaks.]
This is all that's left of my humanity. This fragile little prick. My one shot at escape, and my one way ticket to centuries of guilt and self hatred.
no subject
Date: 2021-10-17 02:19 am (UTC)That...actually would fit with how vampires in my world are, yeah. So it might be true.
But you know, just because you don't feel remorse doesn't mean you're a soulless demon. I'm sure you do still have a soul, you wouldn't have a daemon without one. And I don't feel remorse for any of the animals I cook and eat, so it doesn't seem right to call you a monster for just eating.
no subject
Date: 2021-10-17 03:22 am (UTC)[He smiles in faint amusement.]
And my soul's in... I don't know where. Some kind of afterlife. It just got yanked back down here to be chained to me. [He pets Erastis, who looks up at him and squeaks. Rin would get the impression he's fantacizing about snapping it's neck. But knows he wouldn't actually do it. He's not that stupid.]
no subject
Date: 2021-10-17 04:32 am (UTC)[Rin's world might be a bit kinder because of that. Shounen demon logic.]
But why do you dislike the idea of having a soul?
no subject
Date: 2021-10-17 04:35 am (UTC)Because it'd mean there's nothing left of me. Taking everything I am and replacing it with a lie, that I can be a real boy like Timmy from Passions.
I don't know if I want it like that.
no subject
Date: 2021-10-17 04:42 am (UTC)[There is a slight flare of irritation, but it passes quickly. Rin's trying to understand Spike, not challenge him. Giving in to his short temper wouldn't help here.]
There's still 'something' of you here. Even if your soul is...wherever it went, the rest of you is right here. Your mind, your memories, your heart. Those still make you 'something'.