Then, shall I use up my Innocence activations before then as well?
[just asking to make the point, really.]
That doesn't sound very much like "not holding back", Rin. If you're using up everything first. That sounds more like you're planning to get yourself killed. And I won't allow for that.
The Church may no longer see me as one, but I'm an Exorcist. Don't take me so lightly.
[How does he even start to explain the trauma that he has because of his fire?]
I won't hold back, but I know him. I can hear his voice in my mind even now. He'll use that fire to torture you and then force me to watch you die when you're beyond helping, and I don't want that. He doesn't need that fire to be deadly anyway.
[Allen goes quiet, the full weight of that actually settling the way Rin's intending. so it's really a self-preservation kind of request, too. he can understand that.]
All right.
But I also need you to understand that this Noah, the Fourteenth, Nea--he isn't me. In any sense. Entirely different memories, entirely different personality that was implanted in me. It's not like your situation, so I don't... know what he'll do. I don't know much about him at all, really.
Right. If it comes to it, he's an entirely different person.
['I want to fight him. Draw him out.'
Rin is immediately shoving those impulsive thoughts from the demon as far away from his mind as he can. No fighting, no forcing Nea out. This is a what-if scenario.]
If he's someone else entirely then I guess I can't kiss you back, huh?
[It's embarrassing to say and he almost stumbles over the word, but he's trying to fluster Allen so the conversation isn't quite so serious.]
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timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2021-11-07 04:53 am (UTC)[just asking to make the point, really.]
That doesn't sound very much like "not holding back", Rin. If you're using up everything first. That sounds more like you're planning to get yourself killed. And I won't allow for that.
The Church may no longer see me as one, but I'm an Exorcist. Don't take me so lightly.
no subject
Date: 2021-11-07 05:00 am (UTC)[How does he even start to explain the trauma that he has because of his fire?]
I won't hold back, but I know him. I can hear his voice in my mind even now. He'll use that fire to torture you and then force me to watch you die when you're beyond helping, and I don't want that. He doesn't need that fire to be deadly anyway.
no subject
Date: 2021-11-07 05:32 pm (UTC)All right.
But I also need you to understand that this Noah, the Fourteenth, Nea--he isn't me. In any sense. Entirely different memories, entirely different personality that was implanted in me. It's not like your situation, so I don't... know what he'll do. I don't know much about him at all, really.
no subject
Date: 2021-11-07 05:41 pm (UTC)['I want to fight him. Draw him out.'
Rin is immediately shoving those impulsive thoughts from the demon as far away from his mind as he can. No fighting, no forcing Nea out. This is a what-if scenario.]
If he's someone else entirely then I guess I can't kiss you back, huh?
[It's embarrassing to say and he almost stumbles over the word, but he's trying to fluster Allen so the conversation isn't quite so serious.]
no subject
Date: 2021-11-07 05:57 pm (UTC)Well, you could but I can't say he'd appreciate it much.
[but Allen would think it's charming and also funny. which is why he'll plant a kiss on Rin's cheek right now.]
no subject
Date: 2021-11-07 07:25 pm (UTC)[He's teasing. Lightly.
Aaaand then he goes red when Allen kisses him on the cheek. But he looks pleased with this? Yes, this is good.]