[he holds up his hands reflexively, as if he's used to being shook at this point.]
That's what happens in a war! Your enemy tries to kill you but you live--actually, that's just how life is like, in general, in my experience. But I won't die so easily, and I'll be fine as long as I live. Even if it means I carry the scars.
[If Allen is holding up those hands, then Rin is going to grab for them. Aggressive hand-holding time!
His voice is slightly calmer when he speaks next, but only slightly.]
It's just...not. It's a group of people stuck in a terrible situation and we have to survive, not run off to battle at the first sign of a fight! You say you can carry those scars, but do you even realize that you're asking everyone else to carry those scars for you too?
[hands are held and Allen goes quiet, it hitting more at what was happening back home than he'd like, also.]
... if it means everyone else gets to live, then... I'm fine with that.
I know you think I'm a good person, or that I'm selfless. But really, this is the kind of selfish person I am. It's not just surviving, we will have to fight in some way or another. But as long as everyone, in some way, is able to keep going forward--living or dead... then that's what I'll try for.
[Rin is genuinely amazed at how Allen even thinks he can twist something as selfless as "I will literally get injured and die to save everyone" into something selfish.]
Selfish, huh? Well if you're gonna be selfish, then I will too.
I can't let you keep running into dangerous situations without any regard for your own safety. And if that means I need to follow right after you and do all the fighting for you, then fine. I'll do it.
I know it hurts you more than you let on. And I'm gonna help make it hurt less, in any way I can. Because I like you, and I'm gonna be selfish about that.
[oh, oh no oh no, don't say the like word what's wrong with you.]
What do you mean keep? I haven't done anything in this place! But you've already been through enough--everyone already has, in fact! Even Miss A-Qing who can't even see!
It's fine! I'll just hold your hand all the time so we don't get separated. Or...maybe a rope tied around both of us, we need to use both hands for fighting and all.
Rin makes a soft 'tch' sound before leaning in fully to kiss Allen. Why? Impulsiveness. Also maybe Allen will see that he's being serious if he kisses him again, it worked so well the first time.]
[he knows Rin is serious! but sometimes there's no helping what happens.
but that doesn't really matter because Rin's kissing him and it's actually the first kiss since the one in the jail, so. Allen hesitates, for just a moment, heart aching and a bit nervous all over again before he's kissing back.]
[Sometimes you're an idiot about feelings and go a week without kissing the person you like. There might be butterflies in his stomach but he definitely doesn't regret this, or any part of his feelings for Allen.
The kiss is a soft one, leaving the impression that Rin is more asking for permission than demanding affection. It's only when Allen kisses back that Rin finally relaxes some and smiles into their shared kiss.]
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timeasmymeasure
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Date: 2021-10-31 05:07 pm (UTC)[He's going to set the tree cutting down long enough to grab Allen's shoulders. He's not shaking him yet but he really wants to.]
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Date: 2021-10-31 05:36 pm (UTC)That's what happens in a war! Your enemy tries to kill you but you live--actually, that's just how life is like, in general, in my experience. But I won't die so easily, and I'll be fine as long as I live. Even if it means I carry the scars.
no subject
Date: 2021-10-31 05:49 pm (UTC)[If Allen is holding up those hands, then Rin is going to grab for them. Aggressive hand-holding time!
His voice is slightly calmer when he speaks next, but only slightly.]
It's just...not. It's a group of people stuck in a terrible situation and we have to survive, not run off to battle at the first sign of a fight! You say you can carry those scars, but do you even realize that you're asking everyone else to carry those scars for you too?
no subject
Date: 2021-10-31 06:04 pm (UTC)... if it means everyone else gets to live, then... I'm fine with that.
I know you think I'm a good person, or that I'm selfless. But really, this is the kind of selfish person I am. It's not just surviving, we will have to fight in some way or another. But as long as everyone, in some way, is able to keep going forward--living or dead... then that's what I'll try for.
no subject
Date: 2021-10-31 06:16 pm (UTC)Selfish, huh? Well if you're gonna be selfish, then I will too.
I can't let you keep running into dangerous situations without any regard for your own safety. And if that means I need to follow right after you and do all the fighting for you, then fine. I'll do it.
I know it hurts you more than you let on. And I'm gonna help make it hurt less, in any way I can. Because I like you, and I'm gonna be selfish about that.
no subject
Date: 2021-10-31 06:21 pm (UTC)What do you mean keep? I haven't done anything in this place! But you've already been through enough--everyone already has, in fact! Even Miss A-Qing who can't even see!
no subject
Date: 2021-10-31 06:26 pm (UTC)[Well. He is NOW but he had no scars from before this place.]
But the point still stands: every time you go towards something dangerous, I'm going too.
no subject
Date: 2021-10-31 06:32 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2021-10-31 06:33 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2021-10-31 06:40 pm (UTC)[you silly auguste.]
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Date: 2021-10-31 06:50 pm (UTC)[That's a smile there, that's good. Rin smiles too, and he leans in to tap his forehead against Allen's.]
I'm gonna take care of you, you hear?
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Date: 2021-10-31 07:09 pm (UTC)I hear you.
[he's just unable to fully believe it, but that's not Rin's fault.]
no subject
Date: 2021-10-31 07:23 pm (UTC)Rin makes a soft 'tch' sound before leaning in fully to kiss Allen. Why? Impulsiveness. Also maybe Allen will see that he's being serious if he kisses him again, it worked so well the first time.]
no subject
Date: 2021-10-31 07:37 pm (UTC)but that doesn't really matter because Rin's kissing him and it's actually the first kiss since the one in the jail, so. Allen hesitates, for just a moment, heart aching and a bit nervous all over again before he's kissing back.]
no subject
Date: 2021-10-31 07:46 pm (UTC)The kiss is a soft one, leaving the impression that Rin is more asking for permission than demanding affection. It's only when Allen kisses back that Rin finally relaxes some and smiles into their shared kiss.]