[A few minutes later, Rin will be down in the lobby, looking at the revolving door while he waits for Tsurumaru. He still seems a little unsure, but he's trying to steel himself for a difficult conversation.]
[He nods, and then he looks back to the revolving door again. He can already feel the hot desert air on his face, and it makes him hesitate. But after a moment, he reaches out and steps into the door.
They'll get dropped off by the residences, and Rin lets out the breath he was holding in.]
...I guess I really do need to explain it, if we got spit out here.
[He was already going to, but he's more sure of his choice now.]
[ his gaze settles on the nearby buildings, and he can't help but wonder what the significance is here. funny, how so much history has happened on the other side of those revolving doors that he can only get a snapshot of.
It's about why I pulled away from you at the trial. And...why I've been so weird about you here. It's not just because I knew another version of you.
[So much history that's very personal to Rin is held within this city. Which is why Rin needs to tell the truth before this city is lost to the sands of time again.]
I'm half-demon, and because of that my soul is split in two. The 'me' that's out all the time is actually just the human half of my heart. But the 'other me', the demon half of my heart, he's there too. I've got him locked down pretty tightly now, and he doesn't make too much noise most of the time. But that wasn't always the case.
Yeah, at the end there. I killed somebody because I lost control of my heart, and the 'other me' got loose. He's got no control over his impulses at all, and he loves to fight and show off how strong he is. I'm pretty sure that's what happened that night in this city, when I lost control over him.
[He'll never know for certain, because he doesn't see what's happening 'outside' when the other Rin has control, but he can make educated guesses.]
Back then, my sword was a seal on the demon half of my heart. As long as I had that, he couldn't get out. But when we were in Annkeen, I damaged it in a dangerous fight. It wasn't completely broken, but it was in bad shape and I didn't know what to do with it. So that Thursday night, I took it to the person I trusted the most for sword-related things: the Tsuru who was in that game with me.
[ he isn't sure how he feels about the trend continuing, even to a different version of him. it would be funny, if the harm done here wasn't a two-way street. ]
The other you was released and killed Tsurumaru, then?
[He winces a little at that, because he instantly knows what Tsurumaru means.]
Yeah. And the thing is, I'm pretty sure Tsuru could've beaten him easily in a fight. He's strong, but he didn't have any of his demon strength. Just a little bit of our fire and the few months of sword training I had at that point. But Tsuru just...didn't fight back. Or he did, but wasn't trying to kill him, or something.
[He's looking towards one of the residence buildings now. Even if the fire damage isn't there anymore, he can still see it in his mind. The guilt weighing on his heart makes his frown deepen.]
When I got control back, he was already dying. But he didn't look mad or anything. He just...smiled at me. And said he was sorry.
Yeah. I don't know how he forgave me so easily, but he did.
[It's something, considering Rin still carries the guilt of what happened to this day, and probably will for a long time after. How much does another's forgiveness matter when he hasn't forgiven himself yet?]
But that's why I've been weird around you. And why I was the way I was at trial. This place brings back a lot of bad memories, but...well, you should know.
Yeah. I don't think I'd be who I am today if it didn't happen, but it's still hard to think about sometimes.
[He got serious about learning to control his demon half because of that horrible accident, and he made an honest attempt to see eye-to-eye with the other killers in his game because he knew how lonely it was to stand up there and be voted out. Those horrible events have shaped him into the better person he is today.]
...anyway, thanks for listening. I'll try to be better about it and not be so weird going forward, yeah?
[This is a different Tsurumaru than the one Rin both cares for and feels unworthy of being around, but he's still the same person somehow. Perhaps this attempt at clearing the air will help going forward, or at least Rin is hoping it will make it easier for him to talk to Tsurumaru.]
You don't have to force yourself. I understand it must be stranger than I initially thought.
[ he didn't want to make anyone uncomfortable. tsuru is used to being annoying, but there's been enough trauma to last a lifetime between all of the people here. ]
... but I wouldn't mind getting to know you better.
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timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2022-06-26 03:36 am (UTC)[A few minutes later, Rin will be down in the lobby, looking at the revolving door while he waits for Tsurumaru. He still seems a little unsure, but he's trying to steel himself for a difficult conversation.]
no subject
Date: 2022-06-26 03:42 am (UTC)Yo.
no subject
Date: 2022-06-26 03:54 am (UTC)[He gives Tsurumaru a little wave in return.]
Come with me for a bit? If we're lucky, we'll end up in the right place.
no subject
Date: 2022-06-26 03:56 am (UTC)Mm. Lead the way.
no subject
Date: 2022-06-26 04:05 am (UTC)They'll get dropped off by the residences, and Rin lets out the breath he was holding in.]
...I guess I really do need to explain it, if we got spit out here.
[He was already going to, but he's more sure of his choice now.]
no subject
Date: 2022-06-26 04:14 am (UTC)tsuru looks at rin. ]
What do you want to talk about?
no subject
Date: 2022-06-26 04:27 am (UTC)[So much history that's very personal to Rin is held within this city. Which is why Rin needs to tell the truth before this city is lost to the sands of time again.]
I'm half-demon, and because of that my soul is split in two. The 'me' that's out all the time is actually just the human half of my heart. But the 'other me', the demon half of my heart, he's there too. I've got him locked down pretty tightly now, and he doesn't make too much noise most of the time. But that wasn't always the case.
no subject
Date: 2022-06-26 04:40 am (UTC)[ he knows that towards the end, when people were questioning the final suspects, rin seemed to be referencing something. ]
no subject
Date: 2022-06-26 04:49 am (UTC)[He'll never know for certain, because he doesn't see what's happening 'outside' when the other Rin has control, but he can make educated guesses.]
Back then, my sword was a seal on the demon half of my heart. As long as I had that, he couldn't get out. But when we were in Annkeen, I damaged it in a dangerous fight. It wasn't completely broken, but it was in bad shape and I didn't know what to do with it. So that Thursday night, I took it to the person I trusted the most for sword-related things: the Tsuru who was in that game with me.
no subject
Date: 2022-06-26 04:53 am (UTC)there's the softest laugh. ]
It's always children.
[ he isn't sure how he feels about the trend continuing, even to a different version of him. it would be funny, if the harm done here wasn't a two-way street. ]
The other you was released and killed Tsurumaru, then?
no subject
Date: 2022-06-26 05:03 am (UTC)Yeah. And the thing is, I'm pretty sure Tsuru could've beaten him easily in a fight. He's strong, but he didn't have any of his demon strength. Just a little bit of our fire and the few months of sword training I had at that point. But Tsuru just...didn't fight back. Or he did, but wasn't trying to kill him, or something.
[He's looking towards one of the residence buildings now. Even if the fire damage isn't there anymore, he can still see it in his mind. The guilt weighing on his heart makes his frown deepen.]
When I got control back, he was already dying. But he didn't look mad or anything. He just...smiled at me. And said he was sorry.
no subject
Date: 2022-06-26 05:20 am (UTC)it's a little strange, hearing about it. not in a way that's uncomfortable, but tsuru can almost picture it. ]
I'm relieved that you were still close after.
[ tsuru remembers how friendly rin was their first day here, when he was under the impression this was the tsuru he knew. ]
no subject
Date: 2022-06-26 05:32 am (UTC)[It's something, considering Rin still carries the guilt of what happened to this day, and probably will for a long time after. How much does another's forgiveness matter when he hasn't forgiven himself yet?]
But that's why I've been weird around you. And why I was the way I was at trial. This place brings back a lot of bad memories, but...well, you should know.
no subject
Date: 2022-06-26 05:09 pm (UTC)but he'll nod, seeing the location in a new light. ]
I get it. Even if everything turns out okay in the end, it doesn't make the journey to that point any less difficult. Right?
no subject
Date: 2022-06-26 06:30 pm (UTC)[He got serious about learning to control his demon half because of that horrible accident, and he made an honest attempt to see eye-to-eye with the other killers in his game because he knew how lonely it was to stand up there and be voted out. Those horrible events have shaped him into the better person he is today.]
...anyway, thanks for listening. I'll try to be better about it and not be so weird going forward, yeah?
[This is a different Tsurumaru than the one Rin both cares for and feels unworthy of being around, but he's still the same person somehow. Perhaps this attempt at clearing the air will help going forward, or at least Rin is hoping it will make it easier for him to talk to Tsurumaru.]
no subject
Date: 2022-06-26 07:05 pm (UTC)[ he didn't want to make anyone uncomfortable. tsuru is used to being annoying, but there's been enough trauma to last a lifetime between all of the people here. ]
... but I wouldn't mind getting to know you better.
no subject
Date: 2022-06-27 01:40 am (UTC)[Getting to know each other better, he means. He's smiling a little as he says that too.]
no subject
Date: 2022-06-27 03:24 pm (UTC)[ he holds his hand out. ]
Then let's properly introduce each other. I am Tsurumaru Kuninaga.
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Date: 2022-07-01 04:46 am (UTC)Rin Okumura. It's nice to meet you.
[Again. Or something.]
no subject
Date: 2022-07-01 01:06 pm (UTC)shakes it very vigorously!!! ]
Now we should find something to snack on.
no subject
Date: 2022-07-02 04:59 am (UTC)Rin's a bit discombobulated from it, but he's grinning nonetheless.]
Alright, let's go get something.
[And back to the hotel they can go!]