[He nods, grateful that Mikazuki can understand the feeling.]
...when I killed last game, there were two deaths that week. They figured out it was me with like two hours left to go. And everyone tried their hardest, but we never figured out who killed the other guy. So of course everyone voted me, because that was better than voting wrong.
So I- I've been where Kazu is. And it sucks. I wanted to do better this time and save him, but...
It is not your fault. It took a majority vote to dictate who was guilty today - and you cannot be expected to carry the weight of everything upon your shoulders.
Feel the weight of your heart, and know that this sadness blooms from the strength of your compassion.
But it need not consume you - when we are all meant to carry the consequences of these choices together.
[He knows Mikazuki is right. They all are collectively responsible here. The owner has willed it, so someone will always die. Rin just wishes it didn't have to be this way.]
I know, you're right, it's- it's just really hard to accept.
[It seems like Rin is carrying a lot of weight on his shoulders too. He's not taking any of this well.]
At least when I killed, it was easier to accept the blame and take the vote. It's hard, voting people out when you know what's waiting for them tomorrow.
You need not accept it right away... perhaps you do not need to accept it easily at all. The tension and desire to push back... it will naturally arise if something is happening in front of you if there is something you cannot accept.
[he doesn't really think that it's a bad thing to feeel. mikazuki will rub rin's back like the elderly grandfather that he is]
... I don't believe any of us do.
Even those who cast their votes for him - I do not believe it with a wish to see him in pain. The hope can only be that the executioner might be swift.
[The tension and desire to push back...boy, Rin sure is feeling that right now. The problem is that he's not quite sure what he should be pushing back against. They haven't found the true answer yet, and it's left him feeling like he can't do much of anything to help. Point him at an enemy and he can beat the shit out of it, but, navigating trials is not easy for him.]
...yeah. Nobody's voting to be malicious, we all have to do this anyway.
[It might be easier to be mad at everyone who voted Kazu, but that wouldn't be the right answer. None of the players stuck in this game are the enemy that needs to be defeated to save everyone.]
Do you think we'll save 'em all? That we can bring them all back in the end?
Kaeya said something like that, the first week we were here. That we found a way to bring back the dead before, so we'll find a way again. I wanna believe in that too.
[For everyone's sake, but especially for the friends he's made here, and the friends he might still lose along the way.]
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timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2022-07-03 03:02 am (UTC)...when I killed last game, there were two deaths that week. They figured out it was me with like two hours left to go. And everyone tried their hardest, but we never figured out who killed the other guy. So of course everyone voted me, because that was better than voting wrong.
So I- I've been where Kazu is. And it sucks. I wanted to do better this time and save him, but...
[But they didn't, and Rin feels so guilty now.]
no subject
Date: 2022-07-03 03:19 am (UTC)It is not your fault. It took a majority vote to dictate who was guilty today - and you cannot be expected to carry the weight of everything upon your shoulders.
Feel the weight of your heart, and know that this sadness blooms from the strength of your compassion.
But it need not consume you - when we are all meant to carry the consequences of these choices together.
no subject
Date: 2022-07-03 03:43 am (UTC)I know, you're right, it's- it's just really hard to accept.
[It seems like Rin is carrying a lot of weight on his shoulders too. He's not taking any of this well.]
At least when I killed, it was easier to accept the blame and take the vote. It's hard, voting people out when you know what's waiting for them tomorrow.
...I don't want Kazu to suffer tomorrow.
no subject
Date: 2022-07-03 03:59 am (UTC)[he doesn't really think that it's a bad thing to feeel. mikazuki will rub rin's back like the elderly grandfather that he is]
... I don't believe any of us do.
Even those who cast their votes for him - I do not believe it with a wish to see him in pain. The hope can only be that the executioner might be swift.
no subject
Date: 2022-07-03 04:25 am (UTC)...yeah. Nobody's voting to be malicious, we all have to do this anyway.
[It might be easier to be mad at everyone who voted Kazu, but that wouldn't be the right answer. None of the players stuck in this game are the enemy that needs to be defeated to save everyone.]
Do you think we'll save 'em all? That we can bring them all back in the end?
no subject
Date: 2022-07-03 05:07 am (UTC)... from the very first week, I made a promise with Ercnard Sieghart that we will meet again. And so - it is not a matter of what I think.
It is a matter of what I will not give up, no matter how it might test me.
[he tilts his head, looking to rin's face]
You'll join me, won't you?
no subject
Date: 2022-07-03 03:35 pm (UTC)Kaeya said something like that, the first week we were here. That we found a way to bring back the dead before, so we'll find a way again. I wanna believe in that too.
[For everyone's sake, but especially for the friends he's made here, and the friends he might still lose along the way.]
no subject
Date: 2022-07-03 09:24 pm (UTC)Given our previous experiences... I believe that to be the typical expectation of us all. None will wish to leave others behind so easily.
[but also like it could be thots where they didn't have a choice
but no one in this round remembers thots except the crau1s so he won't bring it up,]
no subject
Date: 2022-07-04 04:21 am (UTC)But you know, it's strange. By this point we'd heard something from the dead in my game. Has nobody really heard anything yet here?
no subject
Date: 2022-07-04 10:30 pm (UTC)[sad]
I find the quiet to be odd as well. I am rather sure that many would have tried to communicate by now, if it was possible.