Rin does go looking for Kaeya, but it's long after the other group talk, and long after he goes and talks to other people. It's getting late, but he can't sleep. So he's going to track down Kaeya to talk to him. Where be Kaeya?]
kaeya's mostly given rin his space, but there's a sense of knowing this will have be met somewhere in the middle. so he's in his room, the doorway ajar. polaris is resting by it, so he's the first to lift his head when rin is looking for him.
when polaris moves, kaeya does as well, peering from where he's sat on the couch. ]
[Rin looks really, really tired. This trial was so much, and learning that no matter what he was probably going to lose someone important to him- because fuck they were not anywhere near an answer with Aikawa's case- has really taken its toll on him. Rin has a big heart and trials are always rough for him, but this one is hitting him hard.
Still, he's here, and he's trying to keep his voice steady as he speaks.]
Do you remember what you said? Back when we got here?
[Rin goes over near the bed and sits down on his knees. An important change, since Rin usually sits cross-legged on the ground. That means he's focused about whatever's on his mind.]
Do you honestly believe that? And would you bet anything on it?
[Rin considers this for a moment, actually mulling over Kaeya's words in a way that he normally doesn't. Rin is so impulsive, putting thought into his actions isn't how he normally acts. So the fact that he's doing it this time is a sure sign of his hesitation, like he knows what he's about to say might not be the right answer.]
...if that's what you believe, with all of your heart, then I want you to help me with something.
Hua Cheng is gonna kill someone, I have no doubts about that. He cares too much about Xie Lian to risk even the chance of not freeing him by dying first. Yoo Joonghyuk too, probably, I've heard how all of you talk about it.
[Kim Dokja is a maybe. But Rin kind of doubts it right now, unless he gets possessed by a shadow.
But Rin seems Determined in a way he doesn't often show. This is clearly important to him.]
If they're gonna kill anyone here, then I want it to be me.
What makes you think I can help you get them to agree to that in the first place? They won't.
It's absurd. Don't solve death with more death.
[ because he hears the conviction in his words and he wants to encourage him or laud him for it, but instead he can't. he absolutely cannot, not this time. ] No. I've already done something Yuri will kick my ass for. I can't.
But that's how it should be. If they don't have it in them to kill me, then they shouldn't be killing at all.
[Maybe this is Rin's way to try and stop them from killing anyone else. Or maybe he just doesn't want them to kill at all, unless forced by a shadow.]
They need to understand that, and I don't think they're gonna listen to me. I...I don't really wanna die either. But I'd rather it be me than anyone else here. And if you really believe that everyone'll come back in the end and everything'll be okay, then help me make them understand. Kill me, or kill nobody.
Rin. Didn't you learn anything from losing the Watchers? Loss is still loss... it's still miserable... on purpose or not.
[ he closes his eyes and slowly shoves off the blanket, getting to his feet. he walks towards the places where rin is knelt and actually kind of
crumples down into a kneel in front of him. he reaches out and puts a hand very carefully on his head. ]
Listen to me, and listen to me well.
You offering yourself up like this isn't going to solve anything. Because they won't. And adding me into the equation? I'm sure people are already wise to what I did, like Mikazuki and Lup.
[ he lets the hand slide to rest onto his shoulder now. ]
There is guilt and regret all the same. Do you think you could leave that behind? Even ghosts as old as Hua Cheng, or those who have sacrificed so much like Dokja and Joonghyuk, wouldn't feel something awful in the wake of your death?
That isn't worth it.
[ his brow furrows, and rin can tell he is... shaking. which is weird. ]
We're meant to kill for a show. You can offer up the idea of not killing unless we are protecting one another, but I will not let you sacrifice yourself. Xie Lian would never forgive me if I let you do this.
[ and then: ] We talk with them. Together. We lay down the groundwork—unless you find yourself protecting someone from an attack on Thursday night, or unless we are visited by shadows, then there's no killing. We can't afford it. Not next week. Don't know if they'll listen, but. We can try.
[Rin is a bit startled by Kaeya getting up, and he's starting to get up himself when Kaeya falls to his knees in front of him. So Rin stays on the floor, but his words of 'dude, you gotta rest' are quickly lost when Kaeya pats his head and tells him to listen.
And listen he does. It's something Rin doesn't often do- actually focusing and listening to other people is really difficult for him- but this feels important. Something about how Kaeya is speaking makes him want to listen.
By the time he notices Kaeya is shaking, Rin is biting his bottom lip and blinking back tears.
Rin doesn't actually want to die. He never wanted to die. But he doesn't want anyone to kill unnecessarily, and he had thought that the weight of his bluff would make them stop and think about what they were doing. That even people like Yoo Joonghyuk and Hua Cheng- who Rin just knows would kill most people here for one corn chip- wouldn't do it.
He doesn't think just asking them not to kill will work, which was why he thought up that whole thing in the first place. But he wants to believe in something, and Kaeya is nothing if not convincing.]
...'kay.
[He'll try it Kaeya's way.
But he's also going to hug Kaeya, because he sees how Kaeya is shaking and he feels bad for working him up like this.]
[ he doesn't really expect the hug, but he folds into it pretty easily. he squeezes rin back, not tightly, but just enough.
kaeya can't see anyone in their group taking rin up on his offer.
he's already been through so much. they all have. it's exhausting to actually think about, only part of the reason that he's fallen to his knees like he does. still, he aims to cover him regardless, the sort of way you might when you're afraid to lose someone. ]
[ kaeya will let himself be helped in! he's not really going to turn it away at this point, not when his legs feel awful. being horizontal is nice and he pats the bed for rin to hop up too. ]
Been a long time since someone told me a story. It's about time.
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timeasmymeasure
Week 3, Saturday
Date: 2022-07-03 02:31 am (UTC)Rin does go looking for Kaeya, but it's long after the other group talk, and long after he goes and talks to other people. It's getting late, but he can't sleep. So he's going to track down Kaeya to talk to him. Where be Kaeya?]
no subject
Date: 2022-07-03 02:34 am (UTC)kaeya's mostly given rin his space, but there's a sense of knowing this will have be met somewhere in the middle. so he's in his room, the doorway ajar. polaris is resting by it, so he's the first to lift his head when rin is looking for him.
when polaris moves, kaeya does as well, peering from where he's sat on the couch. ]
Rin...
no subject
Date: 2022-07-03 02:43 am (UTC)Still, he's here, and he's trying to keep his voice steady as he speaks.]
Do you remember what you said? Back when we got here?
no subject
Date: 2022-07-03 02:47 am (UTC)[ he looks him in the eye ]
Remind me. What was it that I said.
[ this is going somewhere, he knows, so he'll let rin take him there and tell him what it is he wants. ]
no subject
Date: 2022-07-03 02:50 am (UTC)Something about how you think everyone'll be back at check out. How we'll all walk out together, and everyone will be saved. Both living and dead.
no subject
Date: 2022-07-03 02:52 am (UTC)[ he just kind of curls up a little more in what looks like a fuzzy blanket. ]
Happy endings are hard won.
Why?
no subject
Date: 2022-07-03 02:57 am (UTC)Do you honestly believe that? And would you bet anything on it?
no subject
Date: 2022-07-03 03:15 am (UTC)I do.
There has to be one. We'll find it, it's just going to take time, like it always does, unfortunately.
[ a beat ]
Right now, we only know so much... but if it's anything like the past scenarios, we may find a way yet. That seems to be the way.
no subject
Date: 2022-07-03 03:29 am (UTC)...if that's what you believe, with all of your heart, then I want you to help me with something.
no subject
Date: 2022-07-03 03:33 am (UTC)[ he takes a breath ]
Tell me what you want help with.
no subject
Date: 2022-07-03 03:39 am (UTC)[Kim Dokja is a maybe. But Rin kind of doubts it right now, unless he gets possessed by a shadow.
But Rin seems Determined in a way he doesn't often show. This is clearly important to him.]
If they're gonna kill anyone here, then I want it to be me.
no subject
Date: 2022-07-03 03:46 am (UTC)[ he closes his eye tightly. ]
What makes you think I can help you get them to agree to that in the first place? They won't.
It's absurd. Don't solve death with more death.
[ because he hears the conviction in his words and he wants to encourage him or laud him for it, but instead he can't. he absolutely cannot, not this time. ] No. I've already done something Yuri will kick my ass for. I can't.
no subject
Date: 2022-07-03 04:05 am (UTC)[Maybe this is Rin's way to try and stop them from killing anyone else. Or maybe he just doesn't want them to kill at all, unless forced by a shadow.]
They need to understand that, and I don't think they're gonna listen to me. I...I don't really wanna die either. But I'd rather it be me than anyone else here. And if you really believe that everyone'll come back in the end and everything'll be okay, then help me make them understand. Kill me, or kill nobody.
no subject
Date: 2022-07-03 12:49 pm (UTC)[ he closes his eyes and slowly shoves off the blanket, getting to his feet. he walks towards the places where rin is knelt and actually kind of
crumples down into a kneel in front of him. he reaches out and puts a hand very carefully on his head. ]
Listen to me, and listen to me well.
You offering yourself up like this isn't going to solve anything. Because they won't. And adding me into the equation? I'm sure people are already wise to what I did, like Mikazuki and Lup.
[ he lets the hand slide to rest onto his shoulder now. ]
There is guilt and regret all the same. Do you think you could leave that behind? Even ghosts as old as Hua Cheng, or those who have sacrificed so much like Dokja and Joonghyuk, wouldn't feel something awful in the wake of your death?
That isn't worth it.
[ his brow furrows, and rin can tell he is... shaking. which is weird. ]
We're meant to kill for a show. You can offer up the idea of not killing unless we are protecting one another, but I will not let you sacrifice yourself. Xie Lian would never forgive me if I let you do this.
[ and then: ] We talk with them. Together. We lay down the groundwork—unless you find yourself protecting someone from an attack on Thursday night, or unless we are visited by shadows, then there's no killing. We can't afford it. Not next week. Don't know if they'll listen, but. We can try.
no subject
Date: 2022-07-03 03:31 pm (UTC)And listen he does. It's something Rin doesn't often do- actually focusing and listening to other people is really difficult for him- but this feels important. Something about how Kaeya is speaking makes him want to listen.
By the time he notices Kaeya is shaking, Rin is biting his bottom lip and blinking back tears.
Rin doesn't actually want to die. He never wanted to die. But he doesn't want anyone to kill unnecessarily, and he had thought that the weight of his bluff would make them stop and think about what they were doing. That even people like Yoo Joonghyuk and Hua Cheng- who Rin just knows would kill most people here for one corn chip- wouldn't do it.
He doesn't think just asking them not to kill will work, which was why he thought up that whole thing in the first place. But he wants to believe in something, and Kaeya is nothing if not convincing.]
...'kay.
[He'll try it Kaeya's way.
But he's also going to hug Kaeya, because he sees how Kaeya is shaking and he feels bad for working him up like this.]
no subject
Date: 2022-07-06 08:06 pm (UTC)kaeya can't see anyone in their group taking rin up on his offer.
he's already been through so much. they all have. it's exhausting to actually think about, only part of the reason that he's fallen to his knees like he does. still, he aims to cover him regardless, the sort of way you might when you're afraid to lose someone. ]
It's just been a long night.
no subject
Date: 2022-07-09 01:52 am (UTC)...yeah. I should've waited to even talk about it. You're probably exhausted right now.
[A pause, and then:]
If you want, I'll help you back into bed. And tell you a bedtime story or something.
no subject
Date: 2022-07-11 07:33 pm (UTC)It's alright. Immediate concerns should be addressed immediately. I'd rather have heard it now, you know.
[ at the mention of a bedtime story, he chuckles. ]
A story? Really? I won't turn that down.
no subject
Date: 2022-07-12 03:14 am (UTC)Alright then, I'll tell you one of the ones dad used to tell me and Yukio when we were little.
[But first he'll help Kaeya back into bed.]
no subject
Date: 2022-07-14 07:26 am (UTC)Been a long time since someone told me a story. It's about time.