[That fight that day...well, it WAS pretty bad. Even if it got resolved (maybe) it was still bad.]
We've always been close, ever since we were born. Yukio was a real crybaby when he was little and got bullied a lot for it, and my temper back then was even worse than it is now so everyone was afraid to be around me. So we kinda just stuck together, I guess. He wasn't afraid of me, and I never bullied him. So even if all the other kids were shitty to us, we still had each other.
But then Dad died last year, and...I dunno, it's like something changed in both of us. Suddenly the world got a lot bigger than it was before and Yukio started keeping secrets about a bunch of stuff. I know he's hiding a lot, he always acts different when he's hiding things. But I don't know what it is and I can't get it out of him. And I know he has problems with me now, because of my powers, because of how dangerous I am now. Like, I know Dad didn't tell Yukio to stay around to "put me down" if I got too dangerous. But Yukio might think Dad told him that at some point and that might be why he's pulling away so much.
...he doesn't actually want to kill me, for the record. [JUST. SAYING THAT. BECAUSE THAT IS IMPORTANT.] But he's the kinda guy who would think he has to and just bury that deep down in his heart and never talk about it. He's a real smart guy, but he's really shitty at understanding what people tell him, you know?
[It's interesting, the ways in which they are but aren't the same. Alisaie frowns, staring out into the night for a moment.]
I cannot claim to know your brother's mind. But I wonder if it is less to do with you and more to do with him.
When we came of age, Alphinaud and I left our home to journey to the land where our grandsire gave his life. My brother sought to continue the work he had begun and bring salvation to the realm. But I struggled. While I had hung onto his every word as a child, the land he'd died to save seemed lacking. It was full of petty disputes and despots claiming his memory for their own self-serving purposes. I distanced myself from Alphinaud and our grandfather's disciples in much the same way as Yukio.
Mayhap he needs time, as I did. Time to learn his own mind and find his own purpose, rather than the purpose he thought your father had given him.
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timeasmymeasure
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Date: 2021-11-07 03:33 am (UTC)As much as things suck, we can't stop. We have to keep going.
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Date: 2021-11-07 03:54 am (UTC)[But yeah, yeah, she'll take a break. They can find a nearby bench or something to sit on; she's sat in the snow enough this week.
The only problem is that once they've sat down, she really doesn't know what there is to say.]
no subject
Date: 2021-11-07 04:15 am (UTC)[Not really. But he huffs in mild annoyance before sitting on the bench and drinking some cocoa.
Rin will let the silence fall between them for a bit as he contemplates his words. It takes him a bit to think of what to even say.]
It's always snowy when mine and Yukio's birthday rolls around.
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Date: 2021-11-07 11:16 am (UTC)But she'll accept the silence, sipping her own cocoa until he speaks.]
I don't recall when last I saw snow ere our journey here. Well beyond a year, at least.
...I'm sorry about what happened with him, Rin. I don't think I ever got the chance to say.
Have the two of you always been close? What you were saying that day seemed... [Terrible?] It seemed hard for the both of you.
no subject
Date: 2021-11-07 04:21 pm (UTC)We've always been close, ever since we were born. Yukio was a real crybaby when he was little and got bullied a lot for it, and my temper back then was even worse than it is now so everyone was afraid to be around me. So we kinda just stuck together, I guess. He wasn't afraid of me, and I never bullied him. So even if all the other kids were shitty to us, we still had each other.
But then Dad died last year, and...I dunno, it's like something changed in both of us. Suddenly the world got a lot bigger than it was before and Yukio started keeping secrets about a bunch of stuff. I know he's hiding a lot, he always acts different when he's hiding things. But I don't know what it is and I can't get it out of him. And I know he has problems with me now, because of my powers, because of how dangerous I am now. Like, I know Dad didn't tell Yukio to stay around to "put me down" if I got too dangerous. But Yukio might think Dad told him that at some point and that might be why he's pulling away so much.
...he doesn't actually want to kill me, for the record. [JUST. SAYING THAT. BECAUSE THAT IS IMPORTANT.] But he's the kinda guy who would think he has to and just bury that deep down in his heart and never talk about it. He's a real smart guy, but he's really shitty at understanding what people tell him, you know?
no subject
Date: 2021-11-09 10:02 am (UTC)I cannot claim to know your brother's mind. But I wonder if it is less to do with you and more to do with him.
When we came of age, Alphinaud and I left our home to journey to the land where our grandsire gave his life. My brother sought to continue the work he had begun and bring salvation to the realm. But I struggled. While I had hung onto his every word as a child, the land he'd died to save seemed lacking. It was full of petty disputes and despots claiming his memory for their own self-serving purposes. I distanced myself from Alphinaud and our grandfather's disciples in much the same way as Yukio.
Mayhap he needs time, as I did. Time to learn his own mind and find his own purpose, rather than the purpose he thought your father had given him.