Don't say "what the fuck", nii-san! [His gun is at his back, a familiar weight that he could reach for, he could grab and fire and that would solve absolutely nothing so he grabs Rin by the shirt collar instead.]
You killed him! [It isn't just "he died because of you", or "he died because Satan was trying to get to you", it isn't any of that.]
The thought had been eating at him ever since that day. That if he hadn't argued, their father would still be alive. That if he hadn't lost his temper, nothing bad would've happened. That if he could just stay calm and think for once, then everything would be different.
But he can't do any of that. He's the fuckup with the short temper who runs his mouth as soon as his buttons get pushed. It's all his fault.
It's all his fault.]
Shut up!
[But he can't process his grief and guilt in a constructive way, especially not when Yukio is forcing him into a confrontation like this. So even though he's more upset with himself, he goes back to his default response of 'lashing out' and tries to punch Yukio in turn.]
[I always care, Rin wants to say. But he's too angry to say it.
Instead he's going to run at Yukio, aiming to punch him again. But at the last moment he swivels and ducks down slightly to punch with his left fist, aiming for Yukio's gut. And if that works, he'll follow it up with a kick to try and send him flying away.]
[He could fight back, it would be easy. Rin's a fighter but Yukio has trained every day since he looked up at Father Fujimoto and said--
but Yukio doesn't want to fight back. It hurts but it doesn't really matter and maybe if Rin goes hard enough, lands enough punches, then something will happen, maybe Yukio's vision will go blue and he'll finally figure out what it means.
He blocks, but only slightly, ends up taking hits and stumbling back against the door of the foyer.]
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timeasmymeasure
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Date: 2021-10-15 12:55 am (UTC)You killed him! [It isn't just "he died because of you", or "he died because Satan was trying to get to you", it isn't any of that.]
If you'd just shut up he'd still be alive!
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Date: 2021-10-15 01:06 am (UTC)The thought had been eating at him ever since that day. That if he hadn't argued, their father would still be alive. That if he hadn't lost his temper, nothing bad would've happened. That if he could just stay calm and think for once, then everything would be different.
But he can't do any of that. He's the fuckup with the short temper who runs his mouth as soon as his buttons get pushed. It's all his fault.
It's all his fault.]
Shut up!
[But he can't process his grief and guilt in a constructive way, especially not when Yukio is forcing him into a confrontation like this. So even though he's more upset with himself, he goes back to his default response of 'lashing out' and tries to punch Yukio in turn.]
You don't understand anything!
no subject
Date: 2021-10-15 01:13 am (UTC)Satan never could have gotten to him if it weren't for you!
no subject
Date: 2021-10-15 01:42 am (UTC)[He tries to take another swing, pushing forward. They're getting closer to the foyer door, but they're not quite there yet.]
no subject
Date: 2021-10-15 02:22 am (UTC)Why don't you just listen for once?!
no subject
Date: 2021-10-15 02:52 am (UTC)[His wrist is grabbed! And he tries to yank it back away from Yukio.]
no subject
Date: 2021-10-15 11:53 am (UTC)I don't care what you've been saying to yourself!
no subject
Date: 2021-10-15 02:37 pm (UTC)That's right...you never cared, did you? So what if I didn't mean it, so what if I knew I made a mistake, all that matters is YOUR feelings!
[His face feels hot, and fuck, he's going to start crying soon. He sniffs back those tears so he can keep yelling, at least for now.]
no subject
Date: 2021-10-15 04:18 pm (UTC)He's laughing, he realizes.
He lets go, steps back and waits for Rin to try to rush back towards him.]
My feelings!? You're so full of shit! No one's ever cared about my feelings!
no subject
Date: 2021-10-15 07:40 pm (UTC)[I always care, Rin wants to say. But he's too angry to say it.
Instead he's going to run at Yukio, aiming to punch him again. But at the last moment he swivels and ducks down slightly to punch with his left fist, aiming for Yukio's gut. And if that works, he'll follow it up with a kick to try and send him flying away.]
no subject
Date: 2021-10-18 01:38 am (UTC)but Yukio doesn't want to fight back. It hurts but it doesn't really matter and maybe if Rin goes hard enough, lands enough punches, then something will happen, maybe Yukio's vision will go blue and he'll finally figure out what it means.
He blocks, but only slightly, ends up taking hits and stumbling back against the door of the foyer.]
no subject
Date: 2021-10-18 02:00 am (UTC)