Uh, three times? ...I'm not sure about the week thing, but it was a really long time, and it always kind of felt like we were about to die afterward, so...
[ he's at least talked about it a few times by now, but it's still complicated. ]
It was, uh... w-well, to start with, we had memories of these completely different lives there. So, like, Cloud had saved my life a long time ago and we'd been traveling together ever since. And there was this big evil force dooming the world, and people were turning into monsters and stuff... so we were trying to go back in time to before this all started to stop it from happening. And we kept not going back far enough, but each time we ended up in, we kind of got more clues about what we'd have to do, and everything was connected in these weird ways... a-and some... other stuff happened, but... anyway.
So, a couple of the things we learned on the way were that the only way to save someone who was turning into one of those monsters was by destroying a certain kind of spirit and giving them the, uh, stuff it left behind... and that the source of the whole... everything was this spirit who'd lost control of itself when these two people it loved died.
Then when we finally got back to the moment right before everything got bad, we found that Bradley and Jason had also been there living their own lives that whole time in the past, and they had this spirit kid who'd been living with them as part of their family... a-and the two of them were turning into those monsters and started attacking us.
[It sounds like something that could happen in his world, but Rin also comes from circumstances way different than Sebastian's. No wonder the guy had been looking so rough since he came back.]
But I'm glad you all came back, and that you're here now.
[ he bites his lip, eyes welling up with tears. he doesn't understand what he's getting at, does he? maybe the four of them came back, but not everyone did. ]
I killed him! I... he was really scared and upset, and while Cloud was fighting the two of them off, I... I told him what that other spirit told us, that the only way to save them was for him to die. A-and that if he didn't do it, then he'd have to keep living without them.
[ he sniffs, wiping his nose on the back of his hand. ]
And because he didn't want to be alone, he said okay, even though he really didn't want to die. A-and since Cloud was busy with them, I was the only one who could do it.
[Oh, fuck. Yeah, Rin wasn't thinking of that spirit kid at all. But now that Sebastian is saying that, it feels a bit hollow to say "those might be someone else's memories, or a place that's not real, so you didn't really kill anyone". That isn't going to help here, not with how upset Sebastian is.
Besides, Rin knows all about the kind of feelings that killing someone else can stir up. And there's not really words that make that okay. Unlike with the murders here, Sebastian won't get a chance to 'make it right', so he has to just live with this.
So instead, he reaches across the chess table to grab for one of Sebastian's hands. Preferably not the one he just wiped his nose on. Physical reassurance is more helpful than words sometimes, and it's this or Rin just outright giving Sebastian a hug.]
Hey, Sebastian. I've got you, yeah?
[He won't say 'it'll be okay' right now, but he will give other reassurances.]
[Crying is okay! Sebastian went through some traumatic shit and it's normal to cry. So Rin will just keep holding his hand for as long as he needs it. After a while though he'll start talking again, if only to fill the space where they're not talking.]
That sounds awful, I'm sorry you had to go through that. But you got me, yeah? And I'll help you get through this, no matter what.
...I know what it's like. So I get it. I get what you're feeling right now. And I'm sure there's others here who get it too. So...you're not alone, yeah?
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timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2022-07-20 03:01 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2022-07-20 03:08 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2022-07-20 03:13 am (UTC)[ though yeah a bed would have been nice tbh ]
no subject
Date: 2022-07-20 03:42 am (UTC)[He has a guess at what it might be, but.]
Do you wanna talk about that? Or...
no subject
Date: 2022-07-20 04:16 am (UTC)[ he's at least talked about it a few times by now, but it's still complicated. ]
It was, uh... w-well, to start with, we had memories of these completely different lives there. So, like, Cloud had saved my life a long time ago and we'd been traveling together ever since. And there was this big evil force dooming the world, and people were turning into monsters and stuff... so we were trying to go back in time to before this all started to stop it from happening. And we kept not going back far enough, but each time we ended up in, we kind of got more clues about what we'd have to do, and everything was connected in these weird ways... a-and some... other stuff happened, but... anyway.
So, a couple of the things we learned on the way were that the only way to save someone who was turning into one of those monsters was by destroying a certain kind of spirit and giving them the, uh, stuff it left behind... and that the source of the whole... everything was this spirit who'd lost control of itself when these two people it loved died.
Then when we finally got back to the moment right before everything got bad, we found that Bradley and Jason had also been there living their own lives that whole time in the past, and they had this spirit kid who'd been living with them as part of their family... a-and the two of them were turning into those monsters and started attacking us.
no subject
Date: 2022-07-21 08:24 pm (UTC)I...shit, that sounds awful.
[It sounds like something that could happen in his world, but Rin also comes from circumstances way different than Sebastian's. No wonder the guy had been looking so rough since he came back.]
But I'm glad you all came back, and that you're here now.
no subject
Date: 2022-07-21 08:51 pm (UTC)[ he bites his lip, eyes welling up with tears. he doesn't understand what he's getting at, does he? maybe the four of them came back, but not everyone did. ]
I killed him! I... he was really scared and upset, and while Cloud was fighting the two of them off, I... I told him what that other spirit told us, that the only way to save them was for him to die. A-and that if he didn't do it, then he'd have to keep living without them.
[ he sniffs, wiping his nose on the back of his hand. ]
And because he didn't want to be alone, he said okay, even though he really didn't want to die. A-and since Cloud was busy with them, I was the only one who could do it.
no subject
Date: 2022-07-21 09:28 pm (UTC)Besides, Rin knows all about the kind of feelings that killing someone else can stir up. And there's not really words that make that okay. Unlike with the murders here, Sebastian won't get a chance to 'make it right', so he has to just live with this.
So instead, he reaches across the chess table to grab for one of Sebastian's hands. Preferably not the one he just wiped his nose on. Physical reassurance is more helpful than words sometimes, and it's this or Rin just outright giving Sebastian a hug.]
Hey, Sebastian. I've got you, yeah?
[He won't say 'it'll be okay' right now, but he will give other reassurances.]
no subject
Date: 2022-07-21 09:39 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2022-07-21 09:50 pm (UTC)That sounds awful, I'm sorry you had to go through that. But you got me, yeah? And I'll help you get through this, no matter what.
no subject
Date: 2022-07-21 10:37 pm (UTC)Th-thanks.
no subject
Date: 2022-07-21 10:55 pm (UTC)...I know what it's like. So I get it. I get what you're feeling right now. And I'm sure there's others here who get it too. So...you're not alone, yeah?