Rin is not really doing alright, Bucky's pleas at his execution resonated with him way too much. He left pretty much as soon as he could, once the execution was over.]
That- that could've been me. That could've been me cryin' because I couldn't save Yukio.
[He knows it was close there at the end. A few more minutes one way or the other, and he could have been voted out and left with no way to save his hostage.]
[I mean. His adult figure of choice right now is Hua Cheng, so honestly you're doing alright Cloud.
Rin takes in those words, and he nods. It wasn't him. What-ifs won't help here, because it's just going to upset him more to think about. He just needs to remember that it wasn't him up there, and that Yukio is okay.]
Right, yeah. Okay.
[He's trying, but it's still hard to do.]
I just...I know it's stupid, but I kinda wish my dad was here.
[He does not know if they are alive or dead, but he's wondering if Cloud misses not being able to talk to them in general. Cloud's not that much older than him after all.]
[Rin is kind of glad that people keep forgetting that, but it's something that's always on his mind. It can't ever not be, that voice will always exist in the back of his mind, laughing at his failures.]
So I'm half-demon, yeah? Human mom, demon dad- though my actual Dad isn't that demon, Dad is the priest who adopted me and Yukio after we were born. Long story, not important right now.
[Someday Rin will realize that story is actually very important, but today is not that day.]
Anyway, because I'm half demon my heart is actually split in two. So I got a human heart and a demon heart. The 'me' that's always been out and about here is the human half of my heart, just so you know. You'll never meet the demon half, and you definitely don't want to anyway.
But that's what I meant by 'we'. It's...kinda complicated, since we're both the same person in the same body, but also kind of separate? But yeah. That's what's going on. No shadows, just weird half-demon shit.
Sometimes, but he never has anything good to say. He's just like me, but if I had no impulse control whatsoever. So he's always telling me to do stupid shit that'll get me in trouble.
[Remember C*ke ninja? Think that, but all the time, even with intrusive thoughts that Rin wouldn't follow up on normally.]
And he thinks he's the best at everything and wants me to fight anyone who's even slightly shitty to me. There's a reason I don't let him out like, ever.
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Rin is not really doing alright, Bucky's pleas at his execution resonated with him way too much. He left pretty much as soon as he could, once the execution was over.]
That- that could've been me. That could've been me cryin' because I couldn't save Yukio.
[He knows it was close there at the end. A few more minutes one way or the other, and he could have been voted out and left with no way to save his hostage.]
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There's no point hanging on what ifs. It wasn't you. That's what's important.
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Rin takes in those words, and he nods. It wasn't him. What-ifs won't help here, because it's just going to upset him more to think about. He just needs to remember that it wasn't him up there, and that Yukio is okay.]
Right, yeah. Okay.
[He's trying, but it's still hard to do.]
I just...I know it's stupid, but I kinda wish my dad was here.
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I don't know. It's probably normal in situations like this. [ probably??? what is having a father ] How long has it been since he died?
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A little over a year now. I thought I'd moved past the whole 'I wish dad were here' thing last game, but I guess not.
[He lets out a sigh. He's trying to be reliable like the adults but he keeps failing at it!]
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... Maybe it's not a feeling you can get over, when things are bad. Missing a parent. [ maybe? again. why is he here. he is not good at this. ]
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What about you? Do you ever miss your parents?
[He does not know if they are alive or dead, but he's wondering if Cloud misses not being able to talk to them in general. Cloud's not that much older than him after all.]
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[ and also he does not really want to get into his super murdered mom to a teenager ]
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But Rin will accept that answer, and he sighs and lets his head drop a bit.]
Maybe I shouldn't think about it much either, and it won't get so heavy.
[He rubs at his face, like that will freshen him up somehow, and then he sits up again.]
But I promised to explain some stuff to you, didn't I? Guess I should do that now, since we're here.
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[ he has admittedly with everything forgotten a little about rin saying he wanted to explain some things after trial. ]
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So I'm half-demon, yeah? Human mom, demon dad- though my actual Dad isn't that demon, Dad is the priest who adopted me and Yukio after we were born. Long story, not important right now.
[Someday Rin will realize that story is actually very important, but today is not that day.]
Anyway, because I'm half demon my heart is actually split in two. So I got a human heart and a demon heart. The 'me' that's always been out and about here is the human half of my heart, just so you know. You'll never meet the demon half, and you definitely don't want to anyway.
But that's what I meant by 'we'. It's...kinda complicated, since we're both the same person in the same body, but also kind of separate? But yeah. That's what's going on. No shadows, just weird half-demon shit.
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the rest of it is... a lot. rin you have so many bits of your soul just all over the place damn ]
So does he... talk to you, then?
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[Remember C*ke ninja? Think that, but all the time, even with intrusive thoughts that Rin wouldn't follow up on normally.]
And he thinks he's the best at everything and wants me to fight anyone who's even slightly shitty to me. There's a reason I don't let him out like, ever.
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[ rin is so all over the place. ]