[ his smile lifts a little bit - there's something slightly knowing, if just a little sad, to it, as he reaches up and absently scratches at the bandages around his neck. ]
I think it still matters. You never know - A god could still be listening, even in a place like this.
I prayed for his soul to the Heavenly Emperor. Perhaps he will hear me.
[ after everything, though? he doubts it. ] But...it's the thought that counts.
[Rin isn't so sure. He's felt like his prayers haven't been answered in a long, long time. And he wasn't exactly the most religious person before that either. But after a few seconds, he sighs.]
Well, I guess it couldn't hurt, yeah?
[So he does say a prayer finally. A Catholic prayer, one about God taking in the souls that have died traumatic deaths and helping them heal and find peace in the eternal rest of the afterlife.]
the part of him that was a god - that is, still, a god, in most capacities, whether he's been banished or otherwise - listens. he can't help himself - it's in his nature to help, to try and pick up on the sensitivities of others through things like this, like he always did before. it comes back to the simple joys he originally had from his godhood; though now, those joys seem almost impossible to reach.
as he finishes, xie lian ducks his head, and shifts to burn one last piece of 'paper money'. ]
[Rin is quiet for a long time after he finishes praying, only going 'mhmm' in response to Xie Lian's words. It seems like he has a lot on his mind, even more than just this murder. But eventually he does speak again, with quiet words.]
You know, we use prayers in our exorcist work. It's how we can fight demons and all. But I don't think I've actually pray-prayed like that since before Dad died.
[ in some ways, that makes sense. it's not all that different from using a talisman to dispel a demon in his realm, either. xie lian can tell he's got more to think about, though, so gently, he asks: ]
Because of your father's passing? Or for another reason...? [ to further the conversation along ]
It was hard to find reasons to pray. I got bullied a lot in middle school and my temper's always been terrible. But Dad was a priest and would encourage us to join in on his priest-work. Once he died, there wasn't really anyone to tell me to do it anymore.
[His tone is somber, but not hurt. This is an old pain, one he can take reasonably well most of the time.]
[Rin would have thought Xie Lian was just being supportive, but something about the way he says it feels more...meaningful, maybe? And it makes Rin stop and really look at Xie Lian.]
[ somewhere, in the back of his mind, xie lian hears feng xin and mu qing, scolding him for talking to a child, ages and ages ago.
somewhere, he feels like a liar for saying it, because things are so complicated right now - but... it's not a lie, thanks to his highness jun wu. it's just temporary, it's just - ]
... I am. [ and it feels good to say it. ] I'm listening.
[Well. He didn't expect to be talking to a god today. Or ever. And really, Xie Lian could be lying to him to mess with him. If Rin has learned anything in the last year, it's that 'gods' and 'demons' are often the same thing. And when the only noticeable difference between the two is intent, it's hard to know how to handle a self-proclaimed god.
If Rin still had his powers, maybe he would have a better answer. Powerful beings tended to react differently when they sensed his power.]
...
[Rin glances away, unsure of what to say. He's not ready to pray directly to Xie Lian yet, but...hmm...]
Your cousin is one too?
[Might as well ask that, just to get a feel for what's going on in Xie Lian's world.]
Well... to start, he is, I suppose, from the future. According to his profile, he is eight hundred years old - and I most certainly am not.
[ it be like that. ]
...but, godhood is not guaranteed by relation. I am the only one in my family who is one; ascending to godhood is something that must be earned through diligent practice or through acts of martial valor that are enough to receive the favor of the Heavens - or both. It was always my intent to cultivate to godhood, while Qi Rong... did not choose that same path.
So...he chose the path of a Ghost King, yeah? That's why he turned out the way he did?
[How sad. Rin feels guilty now because he had been totally taken by Qi Rong's lies and thought that Qi Rong was just misunderstood and had no control over his situation.]
I never knew gods could just choose to be that way if they worked hard enough for it though. It always sounded like they existed for forever and would keep existing for forever.
...The last that I knew of him before this place, he had not chosen much of a path at all. But... you do not simply become as strong of a ghost as he is unless you choose to become that way. So, yes, I would say so. The path of such a creature... is one that I know little about, only that is marked with actions similar to the actions he took today. One of death, destruction, and caused misery.
[ yeah. yeah! xie lian folds his hands together quietly in his lap. but you got bamboozled you sweet boy. ]
...That is how it works in my world, at least, godhood. And - they do exist, forever, if they are able to hold onto their believers. The Heavenly Emperor must be close to two thousand years old, in Qi Rong's time.
Most demons in my world aren't actually that bad. Some are assholes, yeah, but most just want to live. And sometimes, demons aren't bad but they can't live alongside humans. Maybe they can only eat humans, or maybe they're too much of a troublemaker to live near humans. That's not really their fault. Sure, they won't be able to live alongside humans, but it still doesn't make them bad.
I guess I thought it was like that for Qi Rong too.
[ quiet, for a moment, as he considers his own response. ]
I agree with you. [ that first. rin's compassion touches xie lian's heart, and the compassion he shows for qi rong is... undeserved, but - it's even more than xie lian can manage. ] It isn't. I have always thought spirits and ghosts and the like in our world ought to have some place they can call their home - a city, perhaps, where they might be able to live freely no matter how they choose to do so, so long as they aren't harming humans. They are not necessarily malevolent - and the ones that are the worst often choose to be that way.
I think there are parts of Qi Rong that are not bad, somewhere, but... he is the one who has made these choices. Consistently, throughout our lives, even when we were young - to seek attention, he always tried to bring harm. To avoid getting in trouble, he would always find someone innocent to blame, just like he did today. His first thoughts have always been of violence or cruelty, even when he thinks he is trying to help - and whenever we tried to help him, or put him in the correct path, it turned out much like it did when you tried to help him, today.
[ so watching rin do that was hard, because xie lian saw himself, for a moment, holding onto the bruised, beaten body of a child while qi rong wailed that the child was a monster and deserved it, desperately trying to understand what the hell was going on in his head. ]
...I have never wanted to say that he is a lost cause. I don't think he was. But whatever he has done over these eight centuries - his resentful spirit has only devolved.
[A city for ghosts, where they could live their own lives...that does sound nice. Maybe a demon city is the answer to the problems in Rin's world? It's an idea he'll have to shelve until later, when he's not stuck in this city with these particular problems.
For now, he shifts a bit in place as he thinks about what to say. A rarity from him, really.]
Well...maybe he can get the help he needs now. Or at least he can rest and nobody will have to worry about it anymore.
[They don't know how brutal the executions are yet, but Rin can't imagine that Qi Rong will be left alive. Not after what he did.]
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he peers over his shoulder - and makes a delighted little noise. ]
Oh! Is that what currency looks like, in your realm...? How clever!
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I see. [ he doesn't, but that's okay. ] Kind of you - it will surely make Mr. Marius happy, when he receives it, Rin.
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If we were back at the church, we'd say a couple prayers for him. But I guess that doesn't matter as much here.
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[ his smile lifts a little bit - there's something slightly knowing, if just a little sad, to it, as he reaches up and absently scratches at the bandages around his neck. ]
I think it still matters. You never know - A god could still be listening, even in a place like this.
I prayed for his soul to the Heavenly Emperor. Perhaps he will hear me.
[ after everything, though? he doubts it. ] But...it's the thought that counts.
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Well, I guess it couldn't hurt, yeah?
[So he does say a prayer finally. A Catholic prayer, one about God taking in the souls that have died traumatic deaths and helping them heal and find peace in the eternal rest of the afterlife.]
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the part of him that was a god - that is, still, a god, in most capacities, whether he's been banished or otherwise - listens. he can't help himself - it's in his nature to help, to try and pick up on the sensitivities of others through things like this, like he always did before. it comes back to the simple joys he originally had from his godhood; though now, those joys seem almost impossible to reach.
as he finishes, xie lian ducks his head, and shifts to burn one last piece of 'paper money'. ]
Maybe Mr. Marius find peace.
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You know, we use prayers in our exorcist work. It's how we can fight demons and all. But I don't think I've actually pray-prayed like that since before Dad died.
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Because of your father's passing? Or for another reason...? [ to further the conversation along ]
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[His tone is somber, but not hurt. This is an old pain, one he can take reasonably well most of the time.]
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xie lian listens to this quietly, thoughtful. ]
...so then - doing such a thing now. Perhaps it might be a way to connect with him, even if he has passed.
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...maybe. I'd like that, if it were true. Don't know what kinda god would listen to the prayers of a half-demon though.
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...however. ]
...I would.
[ and there's weight behind that statement - like, perhaps xie lian is a god. ]
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[Rin would have thought Xie Lian was just being supportive, but something about the way he says it feels more...meaningful, maybe? And it makes Rin stop and really look at Xie Lian.]
You're a...really?
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somewhere, he feels like a liar for saying it, because things are so complicated right now - but... it's not a lie, thanks to his highness jun wu. it's just temporary, it's just - ]
... I am. [ and it feels good to say it. ] I'm listening.
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If Rin still had his powers, maybe he would have a better answer. Powerful beings tended to react differently when they sensed his power.]
...
[Rin glances away, unsure of what to say. He's not ready to pray directly to Xie Lian yet, but...hmm...]
Your cousin is one too?
[Might as well ask that, just to get a feel for what's going on in Xie Lian's world.]
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xie lian and san lang share a brief look, though, it's not like they're laughing at the suggestion, and after a moment, he shakes his head. ]
...no. My cousin is a Ghost King, as he proclaimed. A spirit.
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[A short pause.]
So how come you're a god and he's a Ghost King?
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[ it be like that. ]
...but, godhood is not guaranteed by relation. I am the only one in my family who is one; ascending to godhood is something that must be earned through diligent practice or through acts of martial valor that are enough to receive the favor of the Heavens - or both. It was always my intent to cultivate to godhood, while Qi Rong... did not choose that same path.
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[How sad. Rin feels guilty now because he had been totally taken by Qi Rong's lies and thought that Qi Rong was just misunderstood and had no control over his situation.]
I never knew gods could just choose to be that way if they worked hard enough for it though. It always sounded like they existed for forever and would keep existing for forever.
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[ yeah. yeah! xie lian folds his hands together quietly in his lap. but you got bamboozled you sweet boy. ]
...That is how it works in my world, at least, godhood. And - they do exist, forever, if they are able to hold onto their believers. The Heavenly Emperor must be close to two thousand years old, in Qi Rong's time.
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I know not everyone is good, but...
[...]
Most demons in my world aren't actually that bad. Some are assholes, yeah, but most just want to live. And sometimes, demons aren't bad but they can't live alongside humans. Maybe they can only eat humans, or maybe they're too much of a troublemaker to live near humans. That's not really their fault. Sure, they won't be able to live alongside humans, but it still doesn't make them bad.
I guess I thought it was like that for Qi Rong too.
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[ quiet, for a moment, as he considers his own response. ]
I agree with you. [ that first. rin's compassion touches xie lian's heart, and the compassion he shows for qi rong is... undeserved, but - it's even more than xie lian can manage. ] It isn't. I have always thought spirits and ghosts and the like in our world ought to have some place they can call their home - a city, perhaps, where they might be able to live freely no matter how they choose to do so, so long as they aren't harming humans. They are not necessarily malevolent - and the ones that are the worst often choose to be that way.
I think there are parts of Qi Rong that are not bad, somewhere, but... he is the one who has made these choices. Consistently, throughout our lives, even when we were young - to seek attention, he always tried to bring harm. To avoid getting in trouble, he would always find someone innocent to blame, just like he did today. His first thoughts have always been of violence or cruelty, even when he thinks he is trying to help - and whenever we tried to help him, or put him in the correct path, it turned out much like it did when you tried to help him, today.
[ so watching rin do that was hard, because xie lian saw himself, for a moment, holding onto the bruised, beaten body of a child while qi rong wailed that the child was a monster and deserved it, desperately trying to understand what the hell was going on in his head. ]
...I have never wanted to say that he is a lost cause. I don't think he was. But whatever he has done over these eight centuries - his resentful spirit has only devolved.
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For now, he shifts a bit in place as he thinks about what to say. A rarity from him, really.]
Well...maybe he can get the help he needs now. Or at least he can rest and nobody will have to worry about it anymore.
[They don't know how brutal the executions are yet, but Rin can't imagine that Qi Rong will be left alive. Not after what he did.]