...You don't have to tell me, if you don't want to. But it's okay to be scared, you know? A lot of us have done things we regret to get here, so you aren't alone.
I know, I'm not the only one here who's killed. But I-
[Part of him wants to stop talking about it, but he knows he needs to. Talking about it is the only way to get the gremlins out of his mind.]
When I got voted out and had to be executed, it was my twin brother who got forced to do it. But he- he refused to let me die, so he...
[It's still too painful to say directly, and Rin has to stop to take a steadying breath. But that breath doesn't really help that much, he's getting emotional already.]
That's why I gotta save him here. He died for me. Me! An idiot who got in over his head and killed someone! Someone so dangerous that I could kill again without even realizing it! So I gotta- I can't let him be kept as a hostage forever.
[ there's something horrible about hearing a child had to be voted out, but it's even worse hearing what happened as a result. there are no words to say to something like that, so kazunari finally relents to his instincts and pulls rin into a tight hug. ]
We'll get them back, RinRin. No matter what happens, you'll see your brother again.
[The hug is unexpected, but it's what he really needs right now. He had been holding it together pretty well before, but when he tries to say Kazu's name his voice cracks so he just. Grabs onto Kazu and hugs him tightly.
He's not crying, but he needs a moment for his throat to calm down so he doesn't sound weepy when he talks. And he nods in response to Kazu's words too. He knows they'll get their hostages back, but Rin just misses Yukio a lot right now.]
[ mood, buddy. obviously kazunari can't understand the entirety of what rin is feeling... but he has an idea, and that's nearly too much to bear as it is. so he'll just quietly hold rin for as long as he needs, a gentle reminder that he's not alone. ]
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Kazunari...you're a real pal, you know that?
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I try! [ but anyway ] So... what does you being a half-demon have to do with anything?
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It's important because being half-demon means I've got two souls. But they're both me...?
[A pause.]
It's like with Marie and Wicked, but we're both 'Rin'. And I don't let him out ever, because he always does terrible shit when he's out.
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[ that's just confusing to think about. ]
So that's why you said you understood better than most people. So I take it he got past your control and did something out there?
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[He pauses here and scratches at the back of his neck awkwardly.]
He got out, yeah. And he killed someone important to me.
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[ he offers a gentle touch to rin's arm... he'd hug, but he doesn't want to crowd rin if he's already this stressed. ]
I'm so sorry, RinRin. No wonder you ran away - I would, too. No one's going to force you to go out there, though. You don't have to go back.
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I really don't wanna. I didn't even end up where it happened, I was just in the markets. But I don't think I can face down that place again.
[Imagine if house 2 still had all that fire damage.]
It...that's not the end of it though. It still got worse after that.
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...You don't have to tell me, if you don't want to. But it's okay to be scared, you know? A lot of us have done things we regret to get here, so you aren't alone.
cw: talk of past suicide
[Part of him wants to stop talking about it, but he knows he needs to. Talking about it is the only way to get the gremlins out of his mind.]
When I got voted out and had to be executed, it was my twin brother who got forced to do it. But he- he refused to let me die, so he...
[It's still too painful to say directly, and Rin has to stop to take a steadying breath. But that breath doesn't really help that much, he's getting emotional already.]
That's why I gotta save him here. He died for me. Me! An idiot who got in over his head and killed someone! Someone so dangerous that I could kill again without even realizing it! So I gotta- I can't let him be kept as a hostage forever.
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We'll get them back, RinRin. No matter what happens, you'll see your brother again.
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He's not crying, but he needs a moment for his throat to calm down so he doesn't sound weepy when he talks. And he nods in response to Kazu's words too. He knows they'll get their hostages back, but Rin just misses Yukio a lot right now.]
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But eventually a quiet 'sorry' can be heard coming from Rin. Now he's feeling embarrassed about it.]
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No apologies. I'm the one who came after you - and I appreciate you telling me everything. You didn't have to.
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[He's poked! And he does pull back slightly, but it's to wipe at his eyes.]
I just didn't need that kind of a reminder.
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